Be the star of your own Christmas
With the Christmas season upon us, with its inevitable social norms and expectations, there is a sense perhaps that this year, more than ever, we are feeling a little unsure about how to navigate the challenges of the Christmas period. We discussed some of these internal conflicts (or cognitive dissonance) in one of our recent Psychology in Practice seminars as part of ϳԹ’s BSc Psychology programme at SA1 Waterfront campus in Swansea and a small group of students decided they would like to help produce this blog, sharing messages they felt were important for people to understand.
Many of us are lucky enough to have fond memories of Christmas past and present. Whilst we try and recreate those cherished childhood memories through the annual traditions of decorating our houses, the giving and receiving of gifts, the Christmas day/Boxing day feasting, and spending time with loved ones, we also increasingly feel the psychological and financial pressure of living up to these expectations.
We also live in a world where we turn the TV on and have constant exposure to conflict across the globe, the refugee crisis, homelessness, and financial struggles. This can sometimes cause us to feel conflicted – should we be enjoying Christmas when the world has so many problems? Should we be doing more to help others less fortunate than ourselves when we barely have time to decorate the tree? Is it wrong to buy those big expensive presents for loved ones when there is so much need in the world?
- Your way of Christmas is not everyone’s way of Christmas
As you seek to enjoy your Christmas, be aware that for many people, Christmas is a time of financial and emotional hardship. During Christmas vulnerable people are likely to experience more social isolation than usual, some people are facing Christmas linked to bad memories or recent loss, and others simply cannot afford to embrace the social expectations that our modern-day Christmas brings. Show understanding and empathy to others who may not be feeling as jolly as you, or simple cannot afford to be as jolly as you and be mindful of the impact of these additional social pressures on those from disadvantaged or challenging backgrounds. A kind word and a carefully considered conversation can help people (especially our children and young people) feel less stigmatised at this time of year.
- We don’t all fit in the same gift box
We know from psychology that we are all different – we have different beliefs, personalities, backgrounds, experiences, motivations, and values. At Christmas try and embrace these differences and appreciate the many different ways in which people around may choose to “keep Christmas” – or indeed, to not keep it at all. Ignore the societal expectations that may cause you stress and make your own traditions at Christmas - this may be from making your own decorations, having a picnic on the beach on Christmas day, or sharing simple but meaningful small gifts that raise a smile or a memory.
- We can all go a little crackers at Christmas
Christmas is recognised as being one of the most stressful times of year for many for a multitude of reasons. If those Christmas family gatherings cause stress and anxiety then identify some strategies to manage these feelings and be prepared to stand up for your boundaries that help you feel safe. Don’t feel guilty for engaging in some much-needed time-out from all the festive preparation or activities and engage in some important self-care to support your own wellbeing – no-one wants to spend Christmas Day with a real-life exhausted Grinch! Remind yourself – Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect – if you burned the pigs in blankets – it’s not the end of the world!
- Be the star of your own Christmas
One of the biggest challenges we face in the modern world is the social pressure caused by social media…as human beings we have an innate tendency to compare ourselves to others and to seek to meet social norms, and exposure to these “norms” are now more in our (virtual) faces than ever at Christmastime…unfortunately creating a world where we can feel constantly imperfect, impoverished, or unworthy. Take control of your social media and the impact it has on you – surround yourself with realistic role models and expectations, engage in activities with like-minded and supportive souls, and give yourself a psychological break from that unnecessary additional pressure at this time of the year.
From all of the staff and students at the Centre for Psychology and Counselling at ϳԹ, we wish you all a happy Christmas in whatever way works for you!
Article authors:
Dr Ceri Phelps, Principal Lecturer and Registered Health Psychologist
Emma Guy, 1st Year BSc Psychology Student
Kayleigh Jones, 1st Year BSc Psychology Student
Catrin Picard-Jones¸1st Year BSc Psychology Student
Hannah-Lee Rhodes, 1st Year BSc Psychology Student
Further Information
Rebecca Davies
Executive Press and Media Relations Officer
Corporate Communications and PR
Email: rebecca.davies@uwtsd.ac.uk
Phone: 07384 467071